Advise sought

On Apr 22, 12:24 pm, saddlebag <saddle... DeleteThis @aol.com> wrote:
> I don't have kids, don't want kids, and most importantly, don't know
> how to deal with kids.
>
> There are twins that live behind me. I used to make the hamburgers
> for them when we grilled out because they always came running when
> they smelled the grill. They liked our zoo too. They were cute and
> entertaining, but I had to shoo them off when I caught them climbing
> around on stuff in the back yard uninvited. Sending my paycheck to
> their parents because they break their neck in my yard is not my idea
> of prudent use of perfectly good motorcycle money. Anyway, years have
> passed and now my wife tells me they are in high school. I haven't
> even seen them since this incident. (Kids should play outside
> more).
>
> Anyway, today I was out screwing around with the parrot and found a
> stash of a couple of cases of beer and a pack of cigars in my yard on
> their side of the fence. If it was good beer, I'd be having one over
> ice by now, but it's watery ass light beer.
>
> I thought of maybe smashing them with a rock or tossing them out one
> by one in their backyard or taking them and leaving a paper on
> scerosis and lung cancer. Do you think I should actually talk to
> their parents or would destroying their stash be sufficient? I
> remember cops taking my weed on a couple of occassions as a kid.
> Didn't stop me, but it did piss me off that as much as the gubament
> pays them, they can't afford their own damn weed.
>
> But I digress, what the hell should I do?

Replace the watery ass beer with good stuff, leave a note "Do not
stash that cheap ass watery beer in my yard".

grace mon...

then another note: 'No smoking, I need you alive to pay my social
security'...
and a movie DVD "Thank you for smoking'....


and an apology for booting them out of yer yard for crawling on the
lawn furniture when they tykes, tell em about the insurance risk
issues.... and a note: "Sorry for booting yer bony ass's out of my
yard 14 years ago. but at the time the only way I liked kids was with
mustard...Im better now, I like them fried".

credit wc fields.






Phil Scott
 >> Stay informed about: Advise sought 

"saddlebag" <saddlebag RemoveThis @aol.com> wrote in message
news:1177269882.963699.97610@y80g2000hsf.googlegroups.com...
>I don't have kids, don't want kids, and most importantly, don't know
> how to deal with kids.
>
> Do you think I should actually talk to
> their parents or would destroying their stash be sufficient?

Talk to the parents. I won't make any predictions on their reaction, they
may thank you or they may call you a liar. Either way you'll know what you
are dealing with.

Bryan
 >> Stay informed about: Advise sought 

"saddlebag" <saddlebag.RemoveThis@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1177269882.963699.97610@y80g2000hsf.googlegroups.com...
>I don't have kids, don't want kids, and most importantly, don't know
> how to deal with kids.

Chicken!!!


>
> There are twins that live behind me. I used to make the hamburgers
> for them when we grilled out because they always came running when
> they smelled the grill. They liked our zoo too. They were cute and
> entertaining, but I had to shoo them off when I caught them climbing
> around on stuff in the back yard uninvited. Sending my paycheck to
> their parents because they break their neck in my yard is not my idea
> of prudent use of perfectly good motorcycle money.

Chicken!! No homeowners insurance?


> Anyway, years have
> passed and now my wife tells me they are in high school. I haven't
> even seen them since this incident. (Kids should play outside
> more).
>

Headed outside for bicycle time as I type this! As soon as the racing is
over anyway.


> Anyway, today I was out screwing around with the parrot and found a
> stash of a couple of cases of beer and a pack of cigars in my yard on
> their side of the fence. If it was good beer, I'd be having one over
> ice by now, but it's watery ass light beer.

Magical beer!!! And whats your fence not doing right up to THEIR property
line?


>
> I thought of maybe smashing them with a rock or tossing them out one
> by one in their backyard or taking them and leaving a paper on
> scerosis and lung cancer. Do you think I should actually talk to
> their parents or would destroying their stash be sufficient?

Make the stash disappear, claim ignorance when they have the cajones to ask
about it!!


> I
> remember cops taking my weed on a couple of occassions as a kid.

Why does this not surprise any of us?


> Didn't stop me, but it did piss me off that as much as the gubament
> pays them, they can't afford their own damn weed.
>
> But I digress, what the hell should I do?
>

Depends on how badly they would seek revenge on Mr "Stash Destroyer".

Teenagers are nasty when it comes to getting even. Here is the way to
minimize their desire to seek harm on your property. Put the stash back.
Round up the children out of earshot of parents. Stand/sit right beside the
stash, with heavy suggestions you might remove its cover/lid/leaves,
revealing said stash. Explain how they have always seemed like good boys to
you, never caused problems, never stolen your newspaper in the morning.
Venture some ideas on property rights, and how homeowners who pay attention
to their property might occasionally notice/find things which isn't their's,
and they might be curious enough to poll the local parents, inform the
police, or drink the stash themselves. Mention how landowners who themselves
were once juvenile delinquents and smoked pot heavily can understand
youthful indiscretions, but if it ever happens again you call the parents,
the cops, Homeland Security, city council and everyone else you can think of
with the express purpose of making certain that their young lives shall
never be the same again.

Don't allow them to speak. Smile alot. Empathize. And make sure the last
sentence, the part where you list what happens during future events, is not
ambiguous, that there is no uncertainty involved, and is ventured with the
same vestige a shark might bestow upon its prey in the instant before
consumption.

Then mention that you will probably be back over on this side of the
fence...oh...day after tomorrow. Pat them on the head. Walk away.
 >> Stay informed about: Advise sought 

On Apr 22, 5:08 pm, "TroytheTroll" <f4_....RemoveThis@hotmail.com> wrote:

> Teenagers are nasty when it comes to getting even.

I think I have a reputation within the neighborhood. The last time I
caught kids tossing their emptys in my neighborhood park while the
wife and I were walking the dog I took note. The next morning as they
were hungover in their bed and their parents were preparing for church
I went back to the park and collected all the bottles they tossed in a
large lawn bag and threw it in the bed of the F150. I then proceeded
to the idiot's house where I did my best to spread them over the
entire front lawn. I'm sure their parents were pleased as they left
for their "Hail Marys."

Some other kids were shooting arrows with suckers at cars as they
passed by. When theirs hit mine they got a suprise. I stopped, put
the SUV in reverse and chased them running backwards through the
yards. I lost sight of them but ran into the first opened garage I
could find and did my best Full Metal Jacket drill instructor dressing
down. They eventually crawled out from under the car and were as
timid as puppy dogs. To this day when they see me coming they reverse
course. After 8 years here, I would say my house is probably the only
one in the area that has not suffered a toliet pappering.

Anyway, I spoke with the neighbors who have kids and they agreed with
you and Andrew. Just take the stash and let them sweat out who might
have got it. Besides, she likes that piss water light beer so I went
over and gave it to her.
 >> Stay informed about: Advise sought 

"saddlebag" <saddlebag.RemoveThis@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1177285533.306926.283910@e65g2000hsc.googlegroups.com...
> On Apr 22, 5:08 pm, "TroytheTroll" <f4_....RemoveThis@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Teenagers are nasty when it comes to getting even.
>
> I think I have a reputation within the neighborhood.

Of what, falling to your knee's and offering up sexual favors in exchange
for being left alone?


> The last time I
> caught kids tossing their emptys in my neighborhood park while the
> wife and I were walking the dog I took note. The next morning as they
> were hungover in their bed and their parents were preparing for church
> I went back to the park and collected all the bottles they tossed in a
> large lawn bag and threw it in the bed of the F150. I then proceeded
> to the idiot's house where I did my best to spread them over the
> entire front lawn. I'm sure their parents were pleased as they left
> for their "Hail Marys."
>

So being a vigilante is okay for you, but organized violence to solve
international problems, thats not fair on dem pure Iraqi's, eh?



> Some other kids were shooting arrows with suckers at cars as they
> passed by. When theirs hit mine they got a suprise. I stopped, put
> the SUV in reverse and chased them running backwards through the
> yards. I lost sight of them but ran into the first opened garage I
> could find and did my best Full Metal Jacket drill instructor dressing
> down. They eventually crawled out from under the car and were as
> timid as puppy dogs. To this day when they see me coming they reverse
> course. After 8 years here, I would say my house is probably the only
> one in the area that has not suffered a toliet pappering.
>

And yet being a hardcase oversea's and getting results, you don't understand
that for squat, right? Although I have to admit, terrorizing local toddlers
strikes me as exactly the sort of thing someone afraid to tackle REAL
problems would do for fun.



> Anyway, I spoke with the neighbors who have kids and they agreed with
> you and Andrew. Just take the stash and let them sweat out who might
> have got it. Besides, she likes that piss water light beer so I went
> over and gave it to her.
>

Disappearing booze, if it happens consistently whenever its on your
property, could damper down future stashes on your property. How is it the
fence on your place doesn't cover your property? When I was a kid, my
buddies dad had all these old cars laying around collecting dust he was
always too busy to "fix up", and they were a great place to stash goodies
when we were kids.
 >> Stay informed about: Advise sought 

This message is not archived
 >> Stay informed about: Advise sought 

saddlebag wrote:
> I don't have kids, don't want kids, and most importantly, don't know
> how to deal with kids.
>
> There are twins that live behind me. I used to make the hamburgers
> for them when we grilled out because they always came running when
> they smelled the grill. They liked our zoo too. They were cute and
> entertaining, but I had to shoo them off when I caught them climbing
> around on stuff in the back yard uninvited. Sending my paycheck to
> their parents because they break their neck in my yard is not my idea
> of prudent use of perfectly good motorcycle money. Anyway, years have
> passed and now my wife tells me they are in high school. I haven't
> even seen them since this incident. (Kids should play outside
> more).
>
> Anyway, today I was out screwing around with the parrot and found a
> stash of a couple of cases of beer and a pack of cigars in my yard on
> their side of the fence. If it was good beer, I'd be having one over
> ice by now, but it's watery ass light beer.
>
> I thought of maybe smashing them with a rock or tossing them out one
> by one in their backyard or taking them and leaving a paper on
> scerosis and lung cancer. Do you think I should actually talk to
> their parents or would destroying their stash be sufficient? I
> remember cops taking my weed on a couple of occassions as a kid.
> Didn't stop me, but it did piss me off that as much as the gubament
> pays them, they can't afford their own damn weed.
>
> But I digress, what the hell should I do?
>


Are they boys or girls?.....and how do you have stuff in 'your' yard on
'their' side of the fence?
 >> Stay informed about: Advise sought 

>I don't have kids, don't want kids, and most importantly, don't know
> how to deal with kids.

I love kids... I know how to deal with kids but I've never wanted kids... I
always found a motorcycle I liked better...

Never step in between a parent and their kids... show the stash to the
parents...

Larry L
94 RC45 #2
Have a wheelie NICE day...
Lean & Mean it in every corner of your life...
If it wasn't for us the fast lane would rust...
V4'S are music to the seat of my pants...
1952 De Havilland Chipmunk...
Yank and bank your brains loose...
http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/-xlax-/
http://home.comcast.net/~netters2/
http://www.fox302.com/index.pl?s=vg&user=netters2
http://www.reeky.org/gallery/xlax
http://www.flickr.com/photos/55532474@N00/?saved=1
 >> Stay informed about: Advise sought 

On Apr 22, 8:37 pm, "TroytheTroll" <f4_....RemoveThis@hotmail.com> wrote:
> "saddlebag" <saddle....RemoveThis@aol.com> wrote in message
>
> news:1177285533.306926.283910@e65g2000hsc.googlegroups.com...
>
> > On Apr 22, 5:08 pm, "TroytheTroll" <f4_....RemoveThis@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
> >> Teenagers are nasty when it comes to getting even.
>
> > I think I have a reputation within the neighborhood.
>
> Of what, falling to your knee's and offering up sexual favors in exchange
> for being left alone?

Depends how hot she is.

> > The last time I
> > caught kids tossing their emptys in my neighborhood park while the
> > wife and I were walking the dog I took note. The next morning as they
> > were hungover in their bed and their parents were preparing for church
> > I went back to the park and collected all the bottles they tossed in a
> > large lawn bag and threw it in the bed of the F150. I then proceeded
> > to the idiot's house where I did my best to spread them over the
> > entire front lawn. I'm sure their parents were pleased as they left
> > for their "Hail Marys."
>
> So being a vigilante is okay for you, but organized violence to solve
> international problems, thats not fair on dem pure Iraqi's, eh?

Far as I can tell I was just returning what they misplaced.

> > Some other kids were shooting arrows with suckers at cars as they
> > passed by. When theirs hit mine they got a suprise. I stopped, put
> > the SUV in reverse and chased them running backwards through the
> > yards. I lost sight of them but ran into the first opened garage I
> > could find and did my best Full Metal Jacket drill instructor dressing
> > down. They eventually crawled out from under the car and were as
> > timid as puppy dogs. To this day when they see me coming they reverse
> > course. After 8 years here, I would say my house is probably the only
> > one in the area that has not suffered a toliet pappering.
>
> And yet being a hardcase oversea's and getting results, you don't understand
> that for squat, right? Although I have to admit, terrorizing local toddlers
> strikes me as exactly the sort of thing someone afraid to tackle REAL
> problems would do for fun.

I do quick Clintonseque strikes to get my point across. I'm not about
to sit in their kitchen and referee their family squabbles for the
next five years. And these were high school kids. That's what I mean
about the crackers. When I was a kid there was far to much gettin
high and screwin to be worried about shootin rubber arrows at
passersby. At least I should be optimistic...they were playing
outside.

> > Anyway, I spoke with the neighbors who have kids and they agreed with
> > you and Andrew. Just take the stash and let them sweat out who might
> > have got it. Besides, she likes that piss water light beer so I went
> > over and gave it to her.
>
> Disappearing booze, if it happens consistently whenever its on your
> property, could damper down future stashes on your property. How is it the
> fence on your place doesn't cover your property? When I was a kid, my
> buddies dad had all these old cars laying around collecting dust he was
> always too busy to "fix up", and they were a great place to stash goodies
> when we were kids.

The people on that side of the fence don't sully their hands.
 >> Stay informed about: Advise sought 

On Apr 22, 11:51 pm, ~kurt <actinouran....RemoveThis@earthlink.net> wrote:
> saddlebag <saddle....RemoveThis@aol.com> wrote:
>
> > Anyway, I spoke with the neighbors who have kids and they agreed with
> > you and Andrew. Just take the stash and let them sweat out who might
> > have got it. Besides, she likes that piss water light beer so I went
> > over and gave it to her.
>
> Since it is just kids being kids drinking and smoking, this is the most
> I would do - steal their stash. Who cares if they are having a few beers
> and a few smokes - really.
>
> - Kurt

Yeah except that they tend to do stupid things like throw empties in
the park or in my yard. Just last week we had an 18 year old drinking
and "car surfing" die when he fell off a truck in motion.
 >> Stay informed about: Advise sought 

On Apr 23, 12:10 am, BrianNZ <b... DeleteThis @itnz.co.nz> wrote:
> saddlebag wrote:
> > I don't have kids, don't want kids, and most importantly, don't know
> > how to deal with kids.
>
> > There are twins that live behind me. I used to make the hamburgers
> > for them when we grilled out because they always came running when
> > they smelled the grill. They liked our zoo too. They were cute and
> > entertaining, but I had to shoo them off when I caught them climbing
> > around on stuff in the back yard uninvited. Sending my paycheck to
> > their parents because they break their neck in my yard is not my idea
> > of prudent use of perfectly good motorcycle money. Anyway, years have
> > passed and now my wife tells me they are in high school. I haven't
> > even seen them since this incident. (Kids should play outside
> > more).
>
> > Anyway, today I was out screwing around with the parrot and found a
> > stash of a couple of cases of beer and a pack of cigars in my yard on
> > their side of the fence. If it was good beer, I'd be having one over
> > ice by now, but it's watery ass light beer.
>
> > I thought of maybe smashing them with a rock or tossing them out one
> > by one in their backyard or taking them and leaving a paper on
> > scerosis and lung cancer. Do you think I should actually talk to
> > their parents or would destroying their stash be sufficient? I
> > remember cops taking my weed on a couple of occassions as a kid.
> > Didn't stop me, but it did piss me off that as much as the gubament
> > pays them, they can't afford their own damn weed.
>
> > But I digress, what the hell should I do?
>
> Are they boys or girls?.....and how do you have stuff in 'your' yard on
> 'their' side of the fence?- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Boys. I didn't build the fence, it was here when I bought the place
and they put it about 4 feet into my property.
 >> Stay informed about: Advise sought 

"~kurt" <actinouranium.RemoveThis@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:c3WWh.24428$PL.18974@newsread4.news.pas.earthlink.net...
> saddlebag <saddlebag.RemoveThis@aol.com> wrote:
>>
>> Anyway, I spoke with the neighbors who have kids and they agreed with
>> you and Andrew. Just take the stash and let them sweat out who might
>> have got it. Besides, she likes that piss water light beer so I went
>> over and gave it to her.
>
> Since it is just kids being kids drinking and smoking, this is the most
> I would do - steal their stash. Who cares if they are having a few beers
> and a few smokes - really.
>
> - Kurt

I care:

http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/factsheets/teenmvh.htm
 >> Stay informed about: Advise sought 

On Apr 23, 5:34 pm, BrianNZ <b... RemoveThis @itnz.co.nz> wrote:
> saddlebag wrote:
> >> Are they boys or girls?.....and how do you have stuff in 'your' yard on
> >> 'their' side of the fence?- Hide quoted text -
>
> >> - Show quoted text -
>
> > Boys.
>
> Well there goes that cunning plan #1.........
>
> Talk to the father first....the stash may be his?
>
> > I didn't build the fence, it was here when I bought the place
> > and they put it about 4 feet into my property.
>
> Thats cheeky!

That's not an American expression. What do you mean "cheeky?"
 >> Stay informed about: Advise sought